Sugar Granny Cafe 老甜婆小食, Outram/ Chinatown

I came here every Tuesday for near to two months in a row because it was quiet and convenient and cheap, one of the few cool cafes in Chinatown that is open in the hot afternoons.

Very interesting characters you will see here. I saw a boss with his secretary from a nearby company–they were doing some paper work but their hands were on each other, and ring ring! the boss’s wife telephoned. Once, an uncle came in with his China Money Boy. (ps: trust me, I know a Money Boy when I see one because I cum in contact with them for work! Don’t think dirty.) Wow, the China Money Boy is so hot! He looks like a hunky version of Dai Yang Tian, in a very tight shirt, showing his ripped biceps. His body is tight! Drool. If I had $200 (that’s how much they cost), I’d put my money down. I tried very hard not to look at him, but he kept staring at me. The Uncle very poor thing. I’m not good-looking but the Money Boy felt that I was a better choice than the Uncle. And the Uncle tried so hard to impress him it was bordering on the point of pathetic. This is a Mandarin-speaking shop with Mandarin-speaking waitresses and the obviously Mandarin-speaking Uncle spoke in broken English to the waitress just to impress the Money Boy of his bilingualism. Very sad lah, in the Gay World, once you’re old, you lose currency. The nearby Keong Saik St is also known for the illegal female prostitutes. Underground Chinatown is very colorful.

I never ordered the food because it’s mostly fried food, calamari, fried chicken wings, fries, fried fishballs and sotongballs, etc. (See the menu here.) All deep-fried food are similar, unless the food is made from scratch and I don’t expect the food here to be made from scratch.

I always ordered the Chinese desserts. I’ve tried the sesame paste ($2.50) thrice, peanut paste ($2.50), Bailey with gingko ($2), Mango sago with pomelo (pictured, $3.50), Durian sago ($4).

The desserts were ok, smooth, but taste-wise, they cannot be compared to Mei Heong Yuan, which is only a few streets away. Out of the desserts, I prefer the sesame paste because it is so kick-ass sweet. It disregards diabetes completely, like the disease has found a cure, that it has been eradicated. Dead Sea is so salty it doesn’t allow life in it–this is like the Sugar version of the Dead Sea. And it tasted very different from other sesame paste too. There was a slightly burnt/roasted scent which is nice.

Overall, the food is average, the service is borderline-lazy, bo-chap, and the decor is cheesy and uncomfortable. The food isn’t even value-for-money, since there are so much good food at a cheap price in Chinatown. The reason it survives in the competitive Chinatown is because there are no other cafes nearby. Pray Starbucks doesn’t open here.

Sugar Granny Cafe
5 Teo Hong Rd
Singapore 088323
T: 6224 9368
Sun-Th: 12pm-11pm
F-Sa: 12pm-1am

Rating: 2.958/ 5 Money Boys

Categories: $0-$20, Chinatown, Dessert, Outram

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