Someone invited me to be a fan of the gay-friendly joint, Garden Slug, on Facebook and my sister knows the owners so we took a trip down today.

The decor is horrendous. The tables and chairs, more suited in a office conference room, are mismatched with the 60s mosaic floor. The ceiling is too high, making the place seem cavernous and lacking.

For hors d’oeuvres, we ordered mushroom soup and calamari. My sister had wagyu burger and I, All-Day Breakfast for dinner. We shared a sampler plate of 3 desserts. So in total: we ordered seven dishes.

When my sister ordered the soup, she asked the waitress, “So is your soup gray or white?” HA HA HA. What a question and I encouraged her to ask it! A proper way was just to ask if the soup was from a can (white) or made from scratch (gray) but I encouraged her to ask the color question! More fun this way.

When we were done, my sister asked, “So what is your verdict?”

“I’m going home to remove my ‘fan’ status from facebook.”

She said, “My favorite dish is the iced water with a tinge of lemongrass, which is free.”

The truth is the food is ample and has lots of sincerity. But sincerity doesn’t mean that it tastes good! The mushroom soup was bland and weird, using a different type of mushroom perhaps? And who puts potatoes in mushroom soup? The calamari did not look appetizing, it looked sad and again, not only did it taste bland, the crisp didn’t go well with the squid. The All-Day Breakfast I ordered, I could have cooked it myself. Just like fried rice which I could have cooked myself, I like ordering good fried rice from great restaurants to see if the chef is up to standard. The sausage was too oily; the egg was too creamy, suited for a heart-attack; for the yogurt, they used marigold yogurt and added nuts and oats in it. And the most unforgivable portion is the dessert. The brownie was rock-hard all over, inside and out, and the tasteless tiramisu was the worst I had eaten in my life. The frozen-rock-hard gelato tasted like vanilla ice kacang! All in all, it will make a very good home-cooked meal but it’s really no good for a restaurant.

But there was a cute waiter! I saw him in a flash then he disappeared into the kitchen. I said to my sister, “Maybe he’s the dish-washer, that’s how he developed his huge arms by scrubbing the plates. I’m going to write a review to say that the plates are very clean.”

The Garden Slug
55 Lorong L Telok Kurau
#01-59
T: 6346 0504

Rating: 2.145/5 stars