Fika Swedish Cafe & Bistro, Beach Road

Wanted to go to a Mexican place (we went for drinks later there), but we passed by this pretentious-looking Swedish cafe, decorated very white and minimally, very Swedish-looking, and my loyal readers will know we are spontaneous and pretentious! Bring it on, Ikea!
We went in not only because it looks nice but because it was a full house. I always believe in the power of the people! The people can’t be wrong, right?
So what does a Swedish Cafe have besides Ikea meatballs?
Swedish Panbiff ($17.20)
Baked Pasta ($17.90)
The baked pasta ($17.90) was lackluster and ordinary. Some strands (the ones I tasted) were hard and uninspiring. Overpriced.
I felt cheated by the Swedish Panbiff ($17.20), because panbiff is just the Swedish word for hamburger. So it’s just two beef/pork patties atop mashed potatoes, slapped on lavishly with the Swedish sauce (you know, used at ikea for their meatballs). The beef/pork patties tasted like fishy beef-pork, and the patties kept falling apart, into grains of meat, very difficult to eat. Extremely greasy. I finished the patties (because it’s proteins) but left the carbs and fibre. I’m a big eater but I get turn off by bad food. Generous portions though.
Swedish Pancakes ($9.90)
There were two desserts I was interested in: Swedish Pancakes and Kladdkaka. I couldn’t order two because 14K doesn’t eat sweets. So cute name, right, Kladdkaka? I asked the waitress what Kladdkaka was…she went and forgot….then I asked again. She went to inquire and returned with the answer, “it’s like a brownie.” Having just learned a painful and $17.20++ Swedish translation lesson (panbiff=patty), I wasn’t prepared to have the shock of kladdkaka=brownie lesson. So I ordered Swedish Pancakes ($9.90).
…which look crepes. Except they were much greasier and tasted like kong ba bao (braised pork in bun). By that, I don’t mean that the pancakes tasted like bun, I mean the pancakes tasted like braised pork sauce. Nice presentation though. And I love the gooseberry, so pretty.
You have to pay for ice water ($0.50), that is, free water they got from the tap.
The service was ok. They couldn’t see us when we needed them because we sat al fresco (see, sound so high class right? but it’s along the pavements beside the polluted roads, very dirty).
Overall, the food wasn’t very cheap, the service wasn’t exceptional, and the food was horrible. But why was the cafe packed on a weekday night? Beats me. I think I should reevaluate my belief in following the crowd. Don’t be a sheep.

Fika Swedish Cafe & Bistro
257 Beach Rd Singapore 199539
t: 6396 9096

Rating: 2.375/5 stars

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