Met up with Ah Bang, who is a playwright, so he wrote this:
List of Characters
Beef rendang ($8)
Ayam rendang ($11.90, Curry chicken)
Ayam Bakar ($5.95, sweet soy-sauce chicken)
Sotong Bakar ($11.50, grilled squid)
Sambal Udang Petai ($10.50, chili prawns)
Crackers + dips ($2+ $1.20)
Nasi Putih ($2.40, 2 bowls of white rice)
Es Cendol ($3.60, dessert)
Teh Botol Sosro ($2, tea)
Total cost of props and production for two: $76
Wise Guy: Heng, I reserved a seat. So many people. Very boisterous. I thought the business isn’t doing well!
Ah Bang: Your coupon you bought on those discount sites is expiring today. So everyone is clearing their coupons too. You very cheapo leh, brudder.
Wise Guy: Who is your bro? I’m your sis. And nigga, please, I’m treating you ok?
Ah Bang: So which is your favorite dish?
Wise Guy: The sotong (squid) lor, still need to ask meh? I’m gay and I like thick, long, juicy things.
Ah Bang: Yes, I agree, when you bite into the squid, the juice squirts out. But the other meat dishes are a tad dry. Like they are prepared way in advance and they just heat it up, so the meat is dry and overcooked.
Wise Guy: Are you trying to impress me by your knowledge?? True dat, bro, that the meat is dry but I thought the food tastes ok, you know. Can eat. Presentable. But I thought the udang (prawns) are too few. Most of the dish is made up of potato, but the potato is very yummy. Seriously, no one does potato better than Malays.
Ah Bang: And I thought the meal is very value-for-money. Quite reasonably priced. Luckily, you ask me along. The food here is so authentic that the servers can’t speak English well. All from Indonesia or something.
After getting the bill,
Wise Guy: Wah piangz, they charge us for the cracker and dips. I thought it’s free. It’s like $3.20 you know, can eat a plate of chicken rice already.
Ah Bang: you’re so cheapo!!
Wise Guy: There is a fine line between cheap and frugal! I should have rejected the cracker.
T: 6732 1679
Rating: 2.879/5 stars